People occasionally send “we need to talk” texts without thinking about the implication. It’s possible they just want to discuss dinner plans, or ask you if you want to go on a trip next weekend. If they do have bad news, it might not even have anything to do with you. They may have just gotten news from their family and now they have to miss a weekend date to travel home. If it is about you, it’s possible (if not likely) that they don’t want to break up, or even fight. They may just want to talk about something that upset them recently, or an issue you two have been working on.
If you overreact to the text and it ends up being about something minor or not very serious, it could end up making the situation worse than it needed to be.
If you need to, step away from your phone for a bit to calm down. Getting a “we need to talk” text out of nowhere can be really nerve wracking! It’s okay to take a break if you need to. Share how you feel with the person. Sometimes, simply saying that this situation makes you anxious can help.
“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” “We can totally talk! Can you give me a hint about what, though?” “Yes. What’s the topic you’d like to discuss?” “Yeah, we can talk. Is this something I should be worried about?”
You might say, “Alright, yeah, we can talk. Do you want to meet up tomorrow? If not, I can give you a call tonight. ” If it’s something minor, it might make sense to have “the talk” right now if you’re both open to it.
This is especially important if they’re telling something you don’t want to hear. Try to not lash out or speak over them, even if you aren’t a fan of what they’re saying. They’re coming to you in this way because they have something important they want to share. If you don’t handle this calmly, they may not open up at all next time.
