If you want to get your ex back, the no contact rule will make your ex miss you. By giving your ex space, they may long for you. This can help you persuade them to take you back. If you want to move on from your ex, the no contact rule lets you experience life without your ex. It’ll give you time to gather your thoughts and process your emotions. You don’t necessarily need your ex’s permission to start the no contact rule, but giving them a heads up never hurts.
“Hey, I wanted to let you know that I’m extending the no contact period for another 30 days. I need more time to think. Thanks for understanding. ” “I think it would be best if we extend our no contact rule for another 30 days. I’ll reach out to you when I’m ready to talk. ”
Limited contact may be an idea if you’re in this situation. Tell your ex how you’re feeling and lay out some ground rules. Try only talking to each other about daily chores or job duties.
Maintain boundaries by limiting contact with your ex. Try to only talk to them about your children or care issues.
If calling your ex would put you in more danger, do not call them. Your well-being is the number one priority.
Try meeting up at a coffee shop, local restaurant, or park. Talking while you eat can help calm your nerves and give you something else to focus on if the conversation gets tense.
Set a time limit for catching up. This way no one will take up more than the time necessary to fill the other person in. Try to avoid dragging out your meeting time. You want to keep things short and simple for your and your ex’s sake. Focus on topics like your relationship moving forward, if you’ll be in contact with each other, and what the next step should be.
“I think it would be best if we’re just friends. ” “I want to try being in a relationship with you. ” “I need some more time to think. ” Be clear and concise with what you have to say. You don’t want to leave any room for misinterpretation!
Actively listen to what your ex has to say by reflecting on what they say and reacting appropriately. If you agree with what they’re saying, nod. If you need them to clarify something, ask. [11] X Research source
Let your ex be the first one to break the no contact rule, especially if you’re following it to try and get them back. It’s easy to fall into a pattern of worrying about what other people think, but if reaching out to your ex and breaking the no contact rule is what’s best for you, do it. Your well-being is what’s important.
Remember why you started a no contact period. Did you start it to heal? To try and win your ex back? You’re nearing the finishing line—you just gotta keep going!
Your breakup isn’t a failure, but a chance for a new beginning.
If you’re using the no contact rule to try and get your ex back, continuing to live your life without them could make them jealous and miss you more.
If someone, including your ex, tries to talk you out of the no contact rule, ask yourself if the rule is something you really want to go through with. Respond by starting the no contact rule anyway. No one gets to write your story but you! Tell them why you’re thinking about the no contact rule. You may open their mind to the idea, especially if they’re not sure what the rule is.
Ask yourself if you’re ready to move on or want to reach back out to your ex. Would you like a second shot at a romantic relationship with them, a friendship, or no contact whatsoever?
“What can I do to help you move on?” “How do you feel about getting back together?” “Is there anything you want to talk about?”
